1998. Zoot Suite Riot was constantly stuck in my head thanks to Gap khaki commercials with kids swing dancing, being spun around and thrown in the air. I was captivated…I was also shy & awkward. Fast forward 6 years. Some life, broken dreams, and a less shy, still awkward 24 year old walks into a swing dance class. Turns out, Gap commercials gave new energy to an old dance and swing dance clubs popped up everywhere. I knew one person in the room that night and she wasn’t there to take the class. She already knew how to dance and promised to go with me. “You’ll be fine”, she said, as she pushed me forward into the circle. The instructor immediately noticed me. “Uh, how do I know what steps come next?”, I asked him, voice shaking. He grinned. “You don’t. That’s not your job. Just follow me and enjoy the dance.”
Yeah... A control freak by nature, I didn’t understand the sentence I’d just heard. “Follow me. Enjoy the dance…” …what?
My response? That night, I went and signed up for private lessons at a ballroom dance studio. I was determined to “learn to follow”. To be clear, that really isn’t something you can learn, well, not like that. In a dance, much like life, the way to learn to follow is to release control. Following the dance is about learning the right steps, being in your own core, confidence, trust, and letting go of control.
Fast forward…18 years…unfortunately, and despite my best efforts (ha, clearly)...still a control freak…a lot less shy, different broken dreams, a lot more moxie…holding on a little less tightly…
My therapist…who knows nothing about this story…shares this quote after I share all kinds of things about the last week…
“Being one with life is being one with Now. You then realize that you don't live your life, but life lives you. Life is the dancer, and you are the dance."-Eckhart Tolle
Well damn. Here’s to letting go just a little bit more. Clearly I’m great at it. But I do love to dance.
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